Wednesday, January 27, 2010

How Plain Is Plain?


First, let me clarify and take ownership for the statements I'm about to make: This is about me, my experiences, and observations.
It is not in any way a judgement, or ridicule of anyone who is convicted differently than myself.
With that being proclaimed, I would like to ask you; how plain is plain? Every single Anabaptist congregation has a set of standards that they believe is correct, even if they have no set standards at all. This varies from every other Anabaptist congregation in the free world. How does one figure out what appropriate dress is, if say they don't belong to a plain church, but feel convicted to dress plainly, or at least unembelished and modestly?
Everyone has their own set of personal circumstances, and I'm no different. My husband has absolutely no desire to be plain. He likes the fellowship with the Mennonites... but the dress just doesn't make sense to him and that's okay too. He's not one of these husbands that wants his wife to dress provocatively... no not at all. He just thinks it's really more cultural and a bit overboard on the modesty side, since you can wear a sweater, vest or jacket and get the same effect without the LHOP look. (I personally LIKE the LHOP look *smile*) But, I like to please my husband, and living to please him is biblical. If God takes issue with it, He will deal with Scott's heart first and then Scott can address it with me.
Recently, my husband and I had a heart to heart about the plain dress issue. He explained that it is an unflattering look for me (to him) and he would rather I wear a modest, but more mainstream look. Classic is ok with him and he's still ok with my jumpers, and denim skirts. It's the 1800's prairie look that just throws him for a loop apparently.
I believe in my quest to please God, I might have inadvertently overlooked my husband and his thoughts on attractiveness. There certainly is a way to dress appropriately, minus the cape. Right?
So, I am giving my cape dresses back to the friend who gave them to me. I am putting my effots into cute, denim skirts and double pocket blouses (gives double coverage), vests, and any other classic, modest style that doesn't scream: AMISH. lol.
By doing this, I hope to please my husband and by pleasing my husband in a non-compromising way, I trust I'll please God as well.
This journey of 14 years has been unbelievable. I still will continue to persue Anabaptism as my spiritual center, even if we join another church of another denomination. I still have the option of making my own personal choices of things like: Submission, modesty, non-oath-swearing, and non-resistance. I can be a unique symbol of godly womanhood and a candle on the hill for whatever church we decide on. I will continue to fellowship with my Mennonite friends on weekends that either Scott is away or when he wants to go. He loves the church and the friends he's making. I'm keeping an positive outlook and an open mind. But the concept of *plain* seems to be less and less relavent to me. Modest and feminine seem to be taking priority. Of course I am not a fashion maven. I don't follow fashion trends to stroke my own ego. I keep it simple and simplicity seems to never go out of fashion.
So what do you consider PLAIN? How has God lead you to dress? Do you buy into the idea that dress doesn't matter at all? What would you do if you were in my posistion (that's a hard one, I know!) Do you struggle with this at all? I'd like to hear your story:-)
Blessings In Christ
Sis Kelly

6 comments:

TinaJewel said...

Kelly, you can be plain without wearing cape dresses! Even though I sew all of my own dresses I only have one that is a cape. Our church makes it optional...you can wear modest skirts and blouses too. God will bless you for honoring Scott like you are! Submission always comes first. Let's give Kelly a hand!

MaryMartha said...

There is not really very much specific instruction in the Bible about our (women's) attire. We are to be modest, which I see as quite different now than it was in Paul's time and in our ancestors' time. Few men these days—ask your husband—are excited by the glimpse of a woman's ankle or elbow. If this type of clothing is required by the standards of the church we have chosen as our affiliation, I think we ought to yield to that, but otherwise it can actually be a distraction to those who do not understand.

A dear Christian woman who was visiting our Bible School gently challenged me on an "idiosyncrasy" of my appearance. She said she knew I did not really intend to call attention to myself rather than to the Lord Jesus, but that was happening or was likely to. I have never forgotten the sweet spirit with which she corrected my mistaken consecration.

In addition to modesty, we are to be more concerned about inner "adornment" than that which is worn outwardly. I don't think this is a prohibition against (modest) jewelry and (modest) cosmetics. It just goes back to the attention-getting point. I used to wear a little lipstick when I was in a public service position and worked with women who were all made up. Now I am a little older and working with women who for the most part prefer their natural faces; it's a relief to be one of them! I am, after all, pretty plain although I am not of the Plain People!

You are blessed to have a husband with whom you can discuss this whole issue in a calm, reasoned, and loving way. God bless you both! MM

Unknown said...

Thank you gals.. I appreciate the support. It's kind of a strange place from which I serve our Lord... I feel like a *hybrid*...lol. Which is ok. I'm certainly not the only hybrid out there. :-)

Scott and I are working through this together, and there is a lot of beauty in that. This may just thrust me into sewing, kicking and screaming of course! Tina I wish I had your talent! But I'm pretty crafty and somewhat stubborn, so I ought to be able to manage it one small project at a time:-)

Unknown said...

Thank you gals.. I appreciate the support. It's kind of a strange place from which I serve our Lord... I feel like a *hybrid*...lol. Which is ok. I'm certainly not the only hybrid out there. :-)

Scott and I are working through this together, and there is a lot of beauty in that. This may just thrust me into sewing, kicking and screaming of course! Tina I wish I had your talent! But I'm pretty crafty and somewhat stubborn, so I ought to be able to manage it one small project at a time:-)

Unknown said...

Thank you 三合. I have worked hard at this. Bless you for reading my blog.

Unknown said...

You sound a lot like me. I started feeling called to examine certain scriptures more closely about four years ago. I started wearing modest dresses and wearing my long hair up in a bun with a little crocheted cover over it. Then I started wearing cape dresses and a stiff white, Mennonite-style, mesh covering.

My husband was kind, but he was not pleased. Then I ended up swinging in the opposite direction out of a desire to please family and friends. I started wearing more capri pants, jeans, etc. and actually had my hair cut short.

Now, I am growing my hair back out (my husband finally actually told me he likes it best long!) and am wearing denim skirts, jumpers, blouses, cardigan sweaters, etc. I have found a smaller covering I can wear with my hair down, the way my husband prefers.

I have never cared for those Amish romance novels, so that wasn't what drew me in to dressing plain. I just tend to do things to the extreme when I do them. lol I have found comfort in rereading those scriptures I was studying and really listening to what God is telling me, not what others are telling me about what God is saying. There is a difference.

It is not that I think that other people's understanding is necessarily wrong, I just feel like sometimes it is what God is speaking to them and not always what God desires of me.

I am glad that I found your blog. I am so tired of feeling I have to please so many people when it is really God's opinion that counts.

God bless and keep you.