Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Being A HelpMeet; Challeges & Rewards

I have never found anything as gratifying and frustrating as marriage.
Here you are, committed until death with a man who at one time you were SO in love with that you never noticed his shortcomings.

But give it a few years and that same persons habits can be like nails on a chalkboard. Not to worry; you annoy him even more. :-) So how do you get past the trials, tribulation, and dirty socks? (Not to mention; kitchen messes, dirt tract in on your clean floor, and a hundred uncompleted *projects*?) EASY; Look in the mirror. Stop pointing fingers and start thanking God for all the wonderful things he DOES do! What comes around goes around. Don't you want him to do the same for you? Well, lead by example girl!
The Bible says we are to be our husbands *helpmeet*. The word itself signifies that we are a team-mate, companion, a navigator, a confidant. We are someone they can trust to open their hearts to.

Here's a couple of good web-sites for the helpmeet impaired:
The Helpmeets Helper
A Helpmeet For Him
Literal Definition:
The Hebrew meaning of the phrase "help meet" in the Word of God is simply "one who helps." The Bible teaches that it is the wife's duty to HELP her husband.
You may not agree with that, but it is God's plan. Many women have simply sold-out to the ungodly influences of the feminist movement and refuse to accept any such teaching. While I'm happy that women get equal acknowledgement in the work force, and the vote, and the ability to own property, I think we threw the baby out with the bathwater when we thought we could work, raise children and basically could do without a man for all practical purposes.
If your marriage is suffering, the healing starts with you. Your humility and determination to be the best you can be for your husband will do two things: It puts you in the will of God, and also reflects the genuine love of Christ. It is a selfless love. It is humble, and it seeks no reward or pat on the back.
"But my husband is awful, worldly, doesn't understand me, (fill-in-the blank). I highly recommend that you go back to your early days, before you married, had children, and the finances weren't a wreck, and imagine your husband, in a field of golden hay. That is ALL that is there. No house, no children, no debt, no arguments. What did you see in him then? It's still there. You need to re-evaluate why you married him and stop worrying about things that will pass in time: Teething babies, Mother-in-Law woes, bills, and all those annoying habits he has.
Love him *warts & all*. Jesus loves you that way too.
Have you ever known someone who just hates their job and complains about their boss endlessly? Yes, there are bad bosses... but think how much better their job would be if the put that effort into being a better employee and going above and beyond what needed to be done, than cry about how awful their boss is? A good employee anticipates what needs to be done and doesn't give her employer a chance to be dissapointed in them.
Can you compare this to a tired marraige?
Wouldn't it be benefitial to put your efforts into improving yourself verses nagging and complaining, or worse; blaming your husband? Of course he has his faults. But by polishing your skills, your setting an example, and trust me, if rubs off. Maybe not immediately, so don't get discouraged, but it genuinely does.
Work on communicating in a way that doesn't put him on the defensive. Own your feelings and words. Avoid comments like; "You never, You always, etc..." Try avoiding the word "YOU" altogether. Instead say: "I would appreciate____________. I like it when____________."
Be positive. Don't threaten the relationship under any circumstances. Im outta here!" Is a threat. You married for better or worst, til death do you part. Take *threats* out of your option list.
Evaluate your responsibilities:

Do you have *his and her* chores? Jump at the challenge of helping him mow the lawn, weed-eat or take out the trash. Try to anticipate his needs. Learn how men think, and communicate.
Created To Be His Helpmeet
Men are simple, yet complex. They are wired differently (mentally) than women, and understanding how you can compliment him in all that you do is key to you BOTH being happy.
Now, I have put a lot of pressure on women to do a lot of work in the relationship. Aren't we going to anyway? Why not work smart- Not hard???
Be your husbands best friend... the one he can depend on... his partner. Are we equal? No, I believe we are unique. Different... and have different roles. Both are equally important.
Be blessed to be your husbands choice above all others.
Be your husbands helpmeet. Help him meet all the challenges he faces and by your shining example, he will be inspired to meet yours.
The rewards of a long and fruitful marraige are immeasurable. Not only for yourself and husband, but think of the seeds of determination you are planting in your own children. What a precious gift that if nurtured, can go on for generations.
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